Bar None

By the time I left work yesterday I'd chalked it up to be a bad day. One of those days that just goes all wrong. I woke up exhausted. It rained so the trains were slow. The trains were slow so I was late to work. I was late to work so I was irritable. I was irritable so everything anyone did just further irritated me. All I wanted to do was go home and be enveloped by silence. Of course, when I arrived home I realized I'd forgotten my house key and my roommates wouldn't be home for 3 more hours.

Arghhh

I wanted to drink beer. Lots and lots of beer. Instead I wandered off in search of sustenance and landed at a cheap Mexican restaurant inhaling a tostada. Sitting alone in silence at the counter can only last so long however before it becomes awkward for the eater and the hipster waiter. So I began to contemplate my next move.

For the last two weeks I've wondered what exactly to do without drinking. Museums? Boring. Galleries? No thank you. Plays? Musicals? I'd rather watch beer dry. I enjoy drinking because it's a social activity. Alcohol is a unifying agent for people of every age, race, sexual preference, fetish etc. Where else would I have met a dwarf former child star?

So off I went in search of a bar-like refuge for the sober. It was then I discovered the wonders of the coffee shop. You can just sit there. For hours. No awkwardness, no judgment, they just keep stopping by every now and then to ask if you'd like a refill of your green tea. Granted, it's not all that social. People mostly keep to themselves and their shiny Macbook Pros. Computerless, I read a Men's Health magazine from cover to cover. I'm now well-versed in how to get "monster forearms" by lifting an empty keg. It's knowledge I'll carry with me forever.

My overall assessment is that coffee shops are a decent bar substitute. I'll most likely go back soon. Except I always felt comfortable going to my local bar a few times a week. There are only so many times you can hang out at a coffee shop in one week before you just start seeming pretentious.

The quest continues...