Bar None

By the time I left work yesterday I'd chalked it up to be a bad day. One of those days that just goes all wrong. I woke up exhausted. It rained so the trains were slow. The trains were slow so I was late to work. I was late to work so I was irritable. I was irritable so everything anyone did just further irritated me. All I wanted to do was go home and be enveloped by silence. Of course, when I arrived home I realized I'd forgotten my house key and my roommates wouldn't be home for 3 more hours.

Arghhh

I wanted to drink beer. Lots and lots of beer. Instead I wandered off in search of sustenance and landed at a cheap Mexican restaurant inhaling a tostada. Sitting alone in silence at the counter can only last so long however before it becomes awkward for the eater and the hipster waiter. So I began to contemplate my next move.

For the last two weeks I've wondered what exactly to do without drinking. Museums? Boring. Galleries? No thank you. Plays? Musicals? I'd rather watch beer dry. I enjoy drinking because it's a social activity. Alcohol is a unifying agent for people of every age, race, sexual preference, fetish etc. Where else would I have met a dwarf former child star?

So off I went in search of a bar-like refuge for the sober. It was then I discovered the wonders of the coffee shop. You can just sit there. For hours. No awkwardness, no judgment, they just keep stopping by every now and then to ask if you'd like a refill of your green tea. Granted, it's not all that social. People mostly keep to themselves and their shiny Macbook Pros. Computerless, I read a Men's Health magazine from cover to cover. I'm now well-versed in how to get "monster forearms" by lifting an empty keg. It's knowledge I'll carry with me forever.

My overall assessment is that coffee shops are a decent bar substitute. I'll most likely go back soon. Except I always felt comfortable going to my local bar a few times a week. There are only so many times you can hang out at a coffee shop in one week before you just start seeming pretentious.

The quest continues...

Just one of them days

"It's just one of them days
That a girl goes through
When i'm angry inside
Don't wanna take it out on you" Monica


Today is the kind of day that I want to curl up in bed with a down comforter, a cup of green tea, and no human interaction. Instead I am at work, surrounded by people that I am forced to interact with about things that I could not possibly care less about.

It could be hormones, Monday blues or sobriety but I am growing more perturbed by the second. Thus, to calm my nerves I've begun my escape countdown. Deep breaths. We can do this.

Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

Fear.

It's why we don't pet a growling dog, or swim in shark infested waters.

It's why we activate our burglar alarms at night.

A little bit of fear keeps us safer.

But it's also why George W Bush was in office for 8 terrible years.

And why the news media is still in business.

Today the headline on the free newspaper they hand out at the subway was "Is there a terrorist among us?"

Talk about fear. Or should I say, fear mongering.

By now, most of you heard about the car-bomb that was found in Times Square this weekend. Thanks to a quick thinking street vendor who alerted a police officer of the smoking SUV, lives were saved.

It could have really, really bad.

But while the thought of an attack on the city is scary, it's also not surprising. NYC is a target. It always has been and always will be. Mayor Bloomberg said it well: "Terrorists around the world, who feel threatened by the freedoms that we have, always focus on those symbols of freedoms – and that is New York city,"

But I want to get back to that cover and that headline. The picture of your average New Yorkers going about their day combined with that headline:

"Is there a terrorist amongst us?"

Yes, there is. Likely more than one. Remember the failed subway bombing plot?

But why frighten people more than they already are? Is that really the first thing our bleary eyes need to read as we begin our morning commutes?

I'm planning to leave New York City in three months. Not because I'm afraid of the big bad wolf. Not because the news media has scared me away. Because I'm ready for something new. But I will always love this city and it saddens me that there are people out there who would try to harm it and the people in it. We didn't start the war. We didn't steal the oil. We're just human beings trying to make it through the day. Just like everyone else on the planet.

We can't let the fear win. And we can't let the media exploit the fear.

We must continue riding the subway. We must continue to visit Times Square. (Not me, I hate Midtown)

We must feel the fear and we must do it anyway.

That's how we send the message that we won't be bullied or scared into silence

That's how we win.

5/1 Weekend Recap

Well kids, It's that time again! Time for another weekend update. Try to contain yourself.

On Friday I mentioned that I'd be going out for A drink with some coworkers. The weather was amazing and I just couldn't see myself doing anything other than sitting on a patio with an ice-cold margarita.

Clearly I need some hobbies. We'll get to that in another posting.

Well it turned out the bar my coworkers picked out didn't have any outdoor tables. Undeterred, I soldiered on deep into the belly of the dimly lit bar. It wasn't quite the setting I'd pictured for my first delicious margarita but at that point there was just no stopping me. And there she is:

Unassuming and quiet, but full of potential. The first sip was like a lightning bolt to my dulled brain. I was alive again. As I slowly sipped my way to the bottom of the glass, my face began to tingle, thoughts ping-ponged around my brain then left my mouth unfiltered.

I was already tipsy. After years of drinking, I suddenly had the tolerance of Japanese pre-teen. And then came the second drink. I mean everyone else was still drinking, what would you have me do? Then, the other girls left and it was just Marissa and I with empty glasses sitting before us. That was the moment. I could have gone home, snuggled up under the covers and woke up happy and clear-headed.

But the sweet toxins were already coursing through my brain. The sun was still shining. People were everywhere, laughing, drinking, soaking up the amazing weather. I couldn't go home.
So we walked to another bar. There I was introduced to two vodka sodas who, despite being bland, I felt I simply had to get to know better.


And then, off to Queens to Marissa's local bar. There I downed a couple of vodka & sprites. But it started to feel wrong. The sugar that had originally made me feel giddy and alive, started to turn on me.

I became sluggish and my stomach started to ache. My body simply wasn't going to put up with new drinking habits. Yes, I was still abstaining from beer. But for 2 blissful weeks, my body had been healthy and ethanol free. So it revolted. I left the bar feeling groggy, slightly remorseful and ready for bed. But first, I spent some time with two old friends:

And an ex-flame:

The patterns I'd tried to put an end to were repeating themselves again. And while, yes, I kept my promise to myself to give up beer, it still wasn't enough. But wait, that conclusion came later.
The next day, slightly hungover, I left Queens and met Chris back in the city. It was another beautiful day so we decided to walk around. We stumbled upon a street fair with delicious food.

Then we decided to rest our throbbing feet at a bar with an outdoor patio. In the time it took me to finish a small glass of white wine, Chris finished three jack & cokes. What can I say? I'm a slow drinker except when it comes to beer. After that we wandered around some more, and ended up at Urban Outfitters where I bought a dress that would not have fit me two weeks ago. Score! The rest of the night was uneventful and I won't bore you with the banal details. (Because the other details have been a real thrill ride)

The next day we woke up around noon and grabbed some brunch at Westville. We ordered a turkey burger to split and 4 veggie sides. Our eating habits have really improved since we began caring about what we put into our mouths.

After brunch I went to the gym...to clean out my locker as my 6 month locker ownership had expired (two months ago). It felt great to finally check that off my to-do list. It's the little things. Oh, I forgot to mention that Chris had a beer at brunch. He lost the bet.

After that, there was no going back for him. So after the gym, we went to another bar. I mean, no one could possibly resist this:

I had a couple margaritas and he had some more beers. The margaritas were so sweet that I decided to switch to water to avoid a repeat of the night before. But then of course, the bar owners sent over some free drinks. Well, I couldn't just let them go to waste. How rude.

We finally left after polishing those off and went home and relaxed until it was time for Chris to leave for the Bolt bus. It's so much easier (for me) when he's the one leaving. It sucks to be the one leaving, and to know you have a 2.5 hour journey ahead of you.

So what have I learned from my temporary foray back into the world of drinking? Well, it was just that: temporary. The next two weeks, I'm back on the wagon. The positive physical and mental effects I've experienced from not drinking outweigh the momentary fun that it brings. So I'm back to Wet Blanket status for the next two weeks. Maybe I'll get back into the hobbies I had before I ever started drinking. Like reading and volunteering and being the least exciting person alive.

**How cute is this child? It's a shame they grow up and become self-concerned adults who write self-concerned blogs.