So you wanna be a comedy writer?

I'd like to talk for a minute about dreams. Not the kind I've had lately involving Jill being pregnant with a midget child. No, the kind of dreams you have when you're awake.

Since I can remember, I've used humor as a way to cope, to make friends, to flirt, just to get through life. It's second nature to me. I like to make people laugh. It makes me happy. Others enjoy cooking, or gardening, or public speaking. I just like to be funny.

That brings me to my current job. Yes, I make good money. But it bores the bejesus out of me. It used to be extremely stressful. After working a 12 hour day I would go home and cry sometimes out of frustration and anger. More often I'd just drink. It's gotten a lot better now that I'm writing for a new brand. I go home at 5. My boss is great. But I'm still just bored.

In January, I decided this was going to be the year that I stopped going through the motions of my career. I decided I needed to leave New York City. I was exhausted from the hectic mentality of working in the Big Apple. And I decided I needed to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, because pharma copy writing certainly wasn't it. I read a book called "What Color is Your Parachute", which despite the Jesus undertones helped me hone in on what I (potentially) wanted to do with my life.

That brings me to comedy writing. I like writing. I like comedy. So I figured maybe, just maybe I should try it. I took a comedy writing class and I loved it. But, I found it extremely hard to be creative after writing about disease states all day. So I'm going to go out to California, jobless and just write and write and write until my wrists weep. And if some of it's funny, I'll use the connections that my teacher gave us to submit jokes to the crappy late night tv shows. Maybe something will happen, maybe I'll fail. It's just a dream.

But when some people find out I want to be a comedy writer, the reaction is often immediate judement. They want me to tell them a joke or perform a skit or make them laugh in some way.

It's as if in their mind they're thinking "Oh you think you're that funny huh? Prove it"


First of all, if I told you I was an aspiring chef, you wouldn't direct me to the kitchen and have me whip up an amouse-bouche. It's called aspiring for a reason. I'm not there yet. Second of all, the only thing that differentiates an aspiring comedy writer from the other funny people in the world is trying and continuing to try despite failure. I'm sure I could be a damn good chef if I really tried. But that's someone elses dream.

Achieving your dreams is 10% innate ability and 90% perseverance. So no, I won't tell you a joke on demand. I won't be your monkey (sober). I'll be laying in bed, brainstorming sketches. And I'll call you when I sell my first joke to George Lopez.*

*who is truly the worst. ever.